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I've been a mom for 6 months...

...and it still is more amazing every day. Griffon has been scooting/crawling all over the place & it is becoming super evident that my house is no where near baby-proofed enough.
It's like somewhere along the way I purchased furniture based on how many pointy corners or wobbly glass pieces it had.
Aside from the normal new mom stuff, I'm finding that my neew status as a mama has changed my perspective when reading novels. How crazy is that?
For instance, I'm re-reading Frank Herbert's "Dune" & am finding that this time around I am identifying more with Lady Jessica and have been more invested in her relationship with her son, Paul. It makes for a slightly different read.
It makes me wonder...what else has the last six months changed my perspective on?

Motherhood/parenthood is an interesting process. I'm glad we chose to do it.

Neglect and Blogging...

It's been an entire month since I've posted last. I don't feel that bad about it, but mostly because I've got so many other things going on, that it doesn't seem that much time has passed.

I'm posting a quick entry in the middle of the night while nursing, so here's just a few thoughts:
*I've switched to organic, whole food at home & am trying to eat processed stuff no more than once/twice per week.
*I'm still having difficulty finding time to exercise, but don't want to wait anymore & am not sure how to fix this yet.
*My baby boy is so close to crawling, he can taste it!
*I have a writing idea, but again, time. I'm never on the computer so I bought a notebook for it, but am starting to wonder if I can manage creative writing from my blackberry instead.
*I have more to post, but babyboy is asleep again and it's time for me to get more of the same.

If anyone has any ideas about how to get more time out of the day, I'd love to hear them. :)

Happy Samhain!

Is it odd to wish someone a happy Samhain? It is the moment where the year goes from bright to dark, the last of the harvest reapings, the center of the crossroads.
Usually this time of year is all about the future for me. In the past it has always been about what comes next.
This year is different, however. In a lot of ways, I suppose. Samhain for me this year because it is all about where I am right now.
Maybe this is because I have Griffon and it's like the physical marker of another human so connected to my life. Before, I could look back 10 years and think, "Oh, that's when I was really into...alternative music or whatever.". Now though, my entire life will be marked by his firsts as he changes and grows.
"That was 2010, because you learned to hold up your head" or "that was 2015 because you got yourself breakfast by yourself for the first time", or "that was June because that's when you were born."

It has made me acutely aware of his change, and by extension, my own

Samhain for me this year is the moment of silence at the bottom between breaths.
Life is change and I do my best to accept that, but this, right now, is the only time I will have THIS moment with THIS child and I guess I don't want it to pass unnoticed.

None of this is somber at all. In fact, I don't know that I've ever been so excited or joy-filled as I am now, celebrating each step. So...Happy Samhain, everyone.
I'm 1 week into my diet plan and am looking at adding a bellydance class on Tuesday nights.
I feel good and things are going well.
93 days to go. :)

I still feel like I'm looking for a better place to blog. Maybe I *should* start a new wordpress blog. Is there a reason I feel I need a social element to blog effectively?
Shouldn't it be a place where I can express/explore my own thoughts? Then why would I need the comments of others at all?

Day Five Rocked!

I am LOVING day 5!! The rain was softly falling this morning and I actually had to wear a jacket to work today. I'm glad the leaves are coming down before we get our first snow this year.  It smelled so nice when I got out of work, it makes me really happy for autumn this year.  :)

Day 5 in my motivation book suggests keeping what the author calls a "magic notebook".  Essentially, it's just a place where you explore your thoughts about food and exercise.  That's pretty much what I'm doing here, at least for the next 100 days, anyway.
Well, one of the suggestions she makes I really like. 
She says that one exercise that is really good for someone trying to lose weight and deal with food cravings is to "eat it later".
The idea is that just because your senses have told you that something would taste good doesn't mean you have to eat it at that moment.
For instance, let's say you go to the movie theatre and the smell of popcorn bombards your senses.
It is a biological response to be interested in having some, but you don't have to have it then.  Let the moment pass and forget about the popcorn.  Maybe even write down in your notebook, "buttered movie popcorn".  Then decide to have some *later*.

Practicing this delayed gratification can often help deal with food cravings in a healthy way.
You don't have to deprive yourself of the less-than-healthy foods all the time, but if you delay eating them, it will help you feel good about sticking to your plan.

Good idea.  Today, as I walked past the grill at work I thought, "Ooo, a grilled cheese sandwich sounds good."
Rather than ditch my steamed veggies and chicken lunch, I just decided to have one on my day off. 
I never thought about it again.  Easy-peasy. :)

In other news, my mom sent me a picture of Griffon while I was at work today.  He is getting so big.
Jerry and I are having a costume-optional Samhain party this weekend and that will be fun, but I'm also looking forward to having my 5-day off stretch so I can curl up with Jerry and the baby.  :D

Better and Better Everyday!

Welcome to day 4 of my weight loss challenge.  Yesterday went pretty well.  I took the stairs down from the 8th floor instead of the elevator and stayed within my calorie count.  I could have been better with water consumption, and my carb:protein ratio is still way too carb-heavy, but overall, I'm already feeling better.  :)

I forgot to do a few exercises before bed last night, but I plan to do a full Pilates workout today and take the baby for a walk, so hopefully that makes up for that a bit.  :D

My motivation for day 4 is titled "Boundaries, not diets".
The idea is that the diet itself is never the problem, but the rigid, perfectionist way we use it.  When most of us are "on a diet" we strive to take in the exact number of calories, fat or carbs allowed by the plan.  If we slip up and eat a forbidden food, we figure we've blown it so we may as well throw the entire plan out the window.
This all-or-nothing approach will never work.  When we are "off", we cancel all the progress we made earlier.

So how do we fix this? 
Well, in order to lose weight, I have to have some sort of plan or boundaries.  My book suggests making two lists:
One with narrow boundaries for the days you are motivated and focused, and the other with a bit more wiggle room for the days that are hard, or for when you are interested in maintaining your weight.  The idea is that this way, you *never* go totally "off" your path.  :)

With that in mind, here's what I do:
**Narrow Path:
Eat 1760 calories/day (and this is quite restrictive as I'm still nursing).
Stick to real, whole food.  Avoid all processed foods.
No fried foods.
Limit processed sugar products to 1/day (with the ultimate goal of changing this to 1/week)
Drink a minimum of 64oz of water/day.
Get 3 solid workouts in each week.

**Wider Path:
I could consume a maximum of 2500 calories/day and probably maintain my current weight.
I could eat some pre-packaged meals for convenience, but should still watch the calories.
I don't ever crave fried foods, but having something like that once/month wouldn't destroy my plan.
Sugar is my difficulty.  I have a huge sweet tooth.  I am currently tapering off my processed sugar. 
When I need my wider path, going back to 1/day for the day wouldn't destroy me either.
Drink at least 64oz of fluid, but not necessarily water.  (I don't drink pop, so that isn't an issue).
Get at least one workout in the week.

That's about it.  This was a really good exercise!  I feel like no matter what, I can stick to one of my plans and just know that if I choose the narrow path, I'll be more likely to reach my weight goals within the time frame I want.  If I slip, I only slip onto my wider path...it doesn't *ruin* the day, so I'm never falling off or trying to get back on.  
I just am.

I like this.  :)

Post as Promised...

I promised an additional post today so here it is:
It is COLD in the pumping room today. I don't know if that makes for more milk or less, but I am downright chilly!

As to other things going on in my life, I have this upcoming weekend off, so on one hand that's good, but on the other, I'm working 4 out of the next 5 days. :b
Hopefully I won't be ill over this next weekend like I was on my last weekend off.

This next weekend I'm planning some fun things. We're having friends over for a Samhain/Halloween potluck. I'm calling it a gathering and not a party b/c we'll have to keep things pretty mellow so we don't wake the baby (he sleeps upstairs).
Then on Sunday, my mom is coming over and we're going to hand out candy to the trick or treaters.
After that, I don't go back to work until Thursday, so I should get to cuddle up with my family a bit and maybe catch some lunches out with friends. Yay!

I'm thinking about making some new videos for youtube, BTW. I've got about 10 on my channel (also called neolithicmoon), but they are pretty old. Some are original songs and some are covers. There's even one of my punkin' at 2 months old. I just don't know what songs I'd like to cover now. Hmmm.

I guess that's about it. I'll post again tomorrow for my weight loss challenge. It's going well so far today. :)

Weight Loss Challenge - Day 3

I feel awesome today! Yesterday went really well and I avoided all the junk (cookies, cakes, & pizza) that the other nurses brought. Go me!
I forgot to take the stairs, but I'll do that today.
Today's lesson in my motivation book is "Do It Anyway". I like this concept because it takes the *feeeeelings* out of the weight loss process. There will always be days I don't feel like exercising, just like there will always be days I don't feel like choosing fruit instead of ice cream.
Too bad. Do it anyway.

If I waited until I felt like it to go to work, when would I ever get there? You don't think about it, you just go.
So, use the same mentality for exercise. Don't worry about if there's time or how you feel, just put on your shoes and go.

Here's a list of things I plan to do today regardless of how I feel in the moment:
1. Take the stairs down EVERY time today.
2. Skip leftover dessert tonight.
3. Do some core exercises before bedtime.

Oh, also, I'm going to make another post sometime today that *isn't* about weight loss. I feel the need to update about other aspects of my life as well. :)

Day 2 -- Committed or commit me...

This is day 2 of my 100day weight loss challenge. Yesterday started great, but I had a little cake at Jerry's birthday. It may have been a dumb day to start. I went over my calorie count for the day, but that's part of what makes today's topic so good.

Interest vs Commitment

My book says that when you are interested in weight loss, it is easy to change plans (ie:cheat) when a better option comes along (like a birthday party). :b
Being committed to it means being focused on your goals *no matter what*. You no longer need constant results to keep your motivation strong because you *know* that results will follow eventually.

I was committed last time. I lost almost 30lbs before the pregnancy and did it with calorie counting and exercise. I really felt like it didn't matter what the scale said b/c I knew I was getting healthier week by week, moment by moment.

I would like to get my "no matter what" attitude back. I know what to do & I know it works for me, I just need to DO it.

So...I need to do one thing today which demonstrates my commitment to my weight loss over the next 100 days (Yikes! Only 99 days now.). I am at work today, so here are my goals:

Today I will eat sensibly and avoid all the snacks in the nurse's station.
Today I will take the stairs down to the cafeteria.
Today I will drink all 8 glasses of water before I go home tonight!

Buh-Bye Pregnancy Paunch!!

Okay, so baby is coming up on 4 months old and I have yet to start losing weight again.  This ends today.
I have logged back onto Livestrong.com (they have a great weight and calorie tracker I love) and I'm going to start daily journaling about the process.  They say it takes 100 days to develop a strong habit, and I bought a motivation book with fitness thoughts for the first 100 days, so let's see what I can do on a 100 day challenge!  :)

For future motivation, here is my list of reasons for why I want to lose weight in the first place:
1.  I want to be healthy and longer-lived for my family.
2.  I want to have enough endurance to PLAY hard with Griffon as he grows.
3.  I want to have more endurance for "adult play" with my wonderful husband.
4.  I'm not totally non-narcissitic, I also want to look smoother & wear a smaller size!
5.  I want to feel good after meals, not slow and ill like I do sometimes now.

Day I: "I used to be that way"
My daily motivator says that often diets fail because we expect them to.  We have fallen into the same old traps and play the same on again-off again weight games.  Here is my mantra for today:  My past does not determine my future.  A past failure has NO effect on what my outcome may be today.  The author suggests that whenever doubts about sticking to my diet or exercise plan creep in, I should change my thinking.  
"I used to be that way, but now I'm different."

Here are some of my old thoughts about dieting with new endings added:
I used to give up any diet plan after a month or so, but now I am planning changes for a new way to live my life.
I used to have excuses that kept me out of the gym, but now I get activity in wherever I am.
I used to perceive myself as a plump (albeit vivaceous) woman, but now I perceive myself as a woman who can be any size I choose.
I used to choose the easiest path, closest parking, or least amount of stairs, but now I choose the path that will be best for my heart.